Mutter: A Stutter
by IchBinAufKurs
Summary: As Sulley adjusts to his new job at Monsters, Inc. he goes through similar challenges he faced at university, but the one thing he wasn't prepared for was his life outside of work. Set after Monsters University, but before Monsters Inc. Suggested SulleyxMike.
1. Ennui: Affluenza

**Tasteless Salty Apple.**

* * *

_"I act scary, Mike. But most of the time, I'm terrified."_

His pupils dilated to full black as he flipped the switch on the wall, turning the lights off.

He could hear the noise of the air conditioner as he stood near the entrance of their room. They'd just moved in to the apartment a couple of months ago, so the cool breeze in the room made him feel like he was somewhere important, but he was somehow relaxed. Being home alone made him feel an unusual type of tranquility.

It wasn't like Mike to show up late, and much less common for him not to show up at all. This had been going on for the past few weeks. Sulley wondered if maybe he'd finally been doing his paperwork like he was supposed to, or if maybe he'd gotten caught up with so much overdue paperwork, but that wasn't like him either. Something was troubling the green monster, and he'd soon find out what.

He was genuinely worried about Mike, but after hours of waiting he went to bed without him. He walked through the door and looked over to Mike's side of the room, finding an empty bed and a messy desk, a sign he was slowly losing the qualities he had during his freshman year at university. He started to wonder if it was something he'd said that drove him away. Was he to blame for this? It was hard to sleep with those thoughts swirling around in his mind. The silence didn't help either. The only thing making the silence bearable was the fan spinning over their room. It was set at the lowest setting, making an almost faint sound that eased him to sleep. He closed his eyes from the drowsiness, and just as he felt himself slipping away he heard the front door open.

He looked over at the clock and saw a different time on it. _'How long have I been asleep?'_ He slowly walked through the hallway and stopped to look in a mirror. His fur was a little messy, so he must've been asleep for quite a while. He overhears Mike in the kitchen making himself a midnight snack when he hears him call his name.

"Sulley?"

"Oh, hey Mike. I was just getting ready to go to bed."

"I had to stay up late for some confusion over at work. Something about a 2319. It turns out this orange fellow that we went to school with got an internship there and he's the one that caused it. Oh, and you know the new staff member? What was her name? Roz? Anyway, I'm getting a strange feeling that she just doesn't like me for some reason. But other than that, I think I'm coming off as a very likable monster."

Blown away by Mike's little speech, Sulley could only manage, "That's great, Mikey. Here I was, worrying about you."

"No, no. Everything is great. I think I might be getting promoted really soon. This might be the opportunity I've been waiting for."

"You seem to be focused on work a lot recently, aren't there other things you want from life? Things you want to do?"

"Actually, there is one thing, but I feel like the pieces already starting to come together. You might not know this, but I was quite a romantic back in highschool. It was when I got these that things started to fall apart." Mike said, pointing at his braces. "But, I think what I've been looking for might've been with me all along."

Sulley was a little taken aback by this and couldn't help but suspect that Mike was referring to him and that he might be implying a homoromantic relationship. "Gee, Mikey.. I can't tell you how shocked I am to hear that."

"Would it be too much to ask if you could meet me at Harryhausen's tomorrow after work?"

"Gee, this is kind of sudden, but no, not at all."

"Alright then, it's a date."

* * *

He looked over at the clock, it read 7:30pm. It was his day off, so he'd used it to sleep in from the other night, but he soon recalled his appointment with Mike. He tells himself he really should've set up an alarm; Mike was probably already there, so he does his best to dresses up as quickly as he can. He was a little nervous; that place was for classy monsters, it was the type of place you'd take someone if you were trying to impress them. The people there felt they were above their nature, superior than the ones that embraced it, so he wore a hat to cover up his horns.

Once at the restaurant he saw Mike through the window, but he wasn't alone. He was with a monster he'd never seen before, Celia.

* * *

"Sulley, this is Celia. Celia, this is Sulley." Speaking directly to Celia he continued, "I met Sulley back at university. We had a few rough edges when we first met, but there's a lot more to him if you really get to know him. Don't let his appearance fool you, he's got the eyes of a human, but the heart of a good-natured monster."

"That's actually the first thing I noticed about you, your eyes." Celia commented.

His family was known for having remarkable genetic makeup, their eyes were always hazel, yet his were a cerulean blue, most definitely the recessive in his genetics, bringing variety to the table. There were other monsters who shared the same trait, but in his family tree he was, unique. His eyes weren't very appealing to the people in the restaurant since humans were known to have them and humans were considered toxic. That being one of the reasons he didn't like the place.

"So, how'd you guys meet?" Sulley asked.

"Well," Celia began, chuckling to herself as she held a glass of wine in her hand, "I was coming out of the theater and it started pouring heavy rain, so there I was, soaking wet; teeth chattering, freezing cold and then he came up to me. And he looked at me straight in the eyes and he said, '_Need an umbrella, miss?_'" She chuckled. "I thought these things only happened in the movies, you know? The pounding heart, the sweaty hands and the shaky legs." She sighed, "He sent me flowers for weeks, and he said he'd love me forever, and now here we are."

"She's hoping to get a job at Monsters Incorporated as a receptionist pretty soon." Mike whispered over to Sulley.

"Wow, that's great! You guys will be working close to each other, I'm really happy for you guys."

"I have to admit I haven't been entirely honest with you, Sull." Mike said, wrapping his arm around Celia, "I've been keeping her secret from you, I wanted to surprise you."

"Oh, trust me; I was very surprised."

"She was actually a student back at MU. We were in the same room when we were getting registered for classes. Isn't it funny how fate brought us together?"

"Oh, Googley Bear!" Celia giggled, placing a smooch on Mike's cheek.

Sulley tried to discern the awkwardness of his situation by looking away.

Mike caught on and broke it up by asking, "So, how about it, Sulley, have you ever had a girlfriend?"

"No, not really."

"That's alright, pal. You just haven't found the right person yet. I'm sure there's someone out there for you."

"That's not why, it's just I've never really cared about objective behind it."

"What about your family name, your legacy?"

"That's the problem, girls want kids and I don't want the same thing that happened to me to happen to my kid. I feel like all my problems can be traced back to my name. The expectations, pressure, etc. I'm already considered the next Sullivan, imagine my kid's expectations."

"What about love? Aren't you lonely?"

"I've got you, Mikey. We've experienced so many things together not a lot of people get to experience, we've been friends so long it's like. . . we're family. And that's all I've ever wanted since the fourth grade, to share my life with someone who cared about me."

"Uh, Sulley?" Mike said, putting the menu in front of them to make their conversation private. "What are you trying to do, Sulley?! Turn my first date into an Emotional Monsters Anonymous meeting? This might be my one chance to impress Celia! If you want we can talk about this when we get home, just. . hmm.. Not In Public!" Those last few words were whispered, but audible from across the table.

Sulley put the menu down, working on an awkward smile as he opened his mouth to speak, but Mike beat him to the punch.

"Sorry about that, my friend Sulley just had a little slip of the tongue."

"Yeah," Sulley chuckled, "I just- we both agreed to save that for later."

Celia was left both speechless and confused as to what she'd just witnessed. That's when the waiter showed up.

"Are you ready to order?"

**-Later That Night-**

After walking Celia home, Mike and Sulley didn't speak on their way back. Time seemed to move in slow motion for Sulley; he hadn't seen Mike this upset in a long time. He knew Mike would not forgive him for ruining his date so easily, it would be a while before they were cool again. He let that sink in for a minute, and there it was again, the unbearable silence. The only noise they heard was the wind and that of the apartment keys as they approached their apartment.

Once inside, they left the lights off as the moon's light shone brightly through the window. Mike approached a small table as Sulley hung up his hat. Mike placed his hand on the back of a wooden chair, not really in the mood to sit down. He had his back turned to Sulley when he said,

"So, uhm.. Sulley, I-I didn't know you were afraid to get involved with others, I thought it was because you thought you were better than everybody else. If it's not that, then what is it?"

This startled Sulley, he didn't expect the reason Mike had been so quiet was because he was worried about him. For Sulley, this was worse than having Mike be mad at him, but he felt Mike deserved an honest answer.

"I wasn't always like this, Mike. It was only after I started to realize the motives behind others. They were only interested in my name and my family's wealth; they seemed interested in me, but they were just using me. I didn't know who I could trust. Because of that I built this barrier, this façade, this character; I became what everyone expected from me, the toughest and scariest monster in Monstropolis, and I lost myself in it, now I don't know how to let the right people in."

"How did I get through it?" Mike asked, hoping the answer laid somewhere deep inside his answer.

"I'm not sure. You made your life open for the world to see. You were so honest and idealistic, you didn't come across as one of them."

"Don't you see what's going on?" Mike asked, turning around to face him. "You don't have friends because you're afraid to open yourself up to others. You've gotta just let things happen. Don't plan for them."

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"It's not as hard as it may seem, just try being a little more optimistic about things. Some people might think of you as intimidating, so just show a little concern for others."

Mike wasn't sure if Sulley would actually do that, but he seemed to be impressed with his suggestion. He felt a sense of accomplishment, like he would be responsible for the future wellbeing and recovery of his best friend; he was glad he'd said that.

"This is not the life I wanted, Mikey." Sulley began as he stared into the ceiling, "I thought it was going to be temporary, but look at me, look at this place. We've barely just moved in and we're struggling to pay rent. This isn't exactly what I had in mind when we agreed to do this. Maybe things could've been different if I'd been more-"

Mike didn't know what to say, things were worse than he thought.

"It might look like I don't care, but I do. Maybe too much."

Mike stood still, feeling helpless and devastated for not being able to help his friend.

"And you know, I think the worst part is feeling like you can do something about it. And at the same time, knowing you're the reason things are the way they are, all while questioning if it's even worth it."

Mike silently got up from the table and head over to his room. He could feel Sulley's eyes on him the entire way.

"Promise me this will stay between us." Sulley said as Mike stopped to listen. "I don't want the guys at work to know. I don't think they'd understand." Mike turns to leave once more, "I trust you, Mikey."

It was then that Mike realized that his suggestion was easier said than done, so he decided to do something that might make Sulley hate him, but he cared about his friend more.

The next day he went to work earlier than usual, stood on the door of his manager's office, knocked thrice on the door, walked in and spoke, "Jerry? I'm worried about Sulley."

* * *

**Author's Note: The cover picture is "Mike and Sulley" by placitte2012 on deviantART. Some of the dialogue in the story was taken from the casting for the video game "Heavy Rain". **


	2. Ominous Eigengrau

**Pink Spots. **

* * *

Mike didn't expect his words to spread around like they did. He figured that their manager might tell someone with more knowledge on how to handle situations like this, but since it was a confidential matter he expected them to keep it secret, yet it seemed everybody knew. Most of them weren't even aware Mike had been the source since multiple coworkers came up to him to ask him if he knew. Some were honestly worried about Sulley while others couldn't care less. Some were even making jokes about Sulley in front of him. Mike simply stood there, helplessly wondering what would happen once Sullivan got there.

Meanwhile, Sulley awoke to find an innate sense of relief. It seemed he just needed to talk to someone who would understand the extent of his situation, and it seemed Mike did. And with that, he felt as if the weight he'd been carrying on his shoulders had been lifted. It was then that he realized his problems weren't as big as he thought they were; he had his dream job, he was meeting new people, and he was living with his best friend. And the best part was that he was finally at peace with himself.

He figured that the reason Mike had left early was to give him some time to reflect and analyze his life, which he decided to do. He poured some coffee on his mug, taking a sip from it as he leaned on one of the kitchen's cabinets. He looked over at the clock, it was almost time for him to go to work, but he took some time to relax and to think about what he wanted to do with his life. He looked over at the window as the sun shone the bright orange light it gave off in the mornings. He admired the outside scenery as he felt a fresh breeze blow through his fur.

He left the cozy indoors for the colder outdoors and as he neared the building, he saw the familiar words '_We Scare Because We Care_' written on the entrance of Monsters Incorporated and greeted them as he would from that day forth, with admiration, respect and appreciation. He saw some of the workers casually stepping out for lunch when one of them stopped to greet him.

"Hey, Sullivan. How are you doing?"

"Better than ever, thanks for asking." Sulley said with a smile on his face.

"Are you doing anything after work?"

"Actually, I'm gonna try to work on my scaring skills."

Sulley didn't mean to sound abrupt, he was just being honest.

"Okay, well.. listen, I gotta run, but if you ever need anything my name is Jerry. I'm the supervisor for Scare Floor F, I'll be making sure everything runs smoothly."

He didn't know why, but as he saw him walk away he realized that that greeting felt different from the ones he'd ever received; he couldn't help but attribute it to his new attitude and perspective on things. Once inside he saw two General Maintenance workers he'd never seen before, and feeling good about his new attitude he stopped by to greet them.

"Hey, fellas."

"Oh, hey Mr. Sullivan." The skinny one said rather cheerfully, "You seem to be climbing up those numbers, at this rate it won't be long before you surpass Randall."

"Yeah, you can do it Mr. Sullivan!" added the shorter sludge-like one, his voice cracking as he spoke.

"Please," he chuckled, "call me Sulley."

"Will do, Mr. Sullivan, will do!"

"See ya later, fellas."

He could hear them whispering "Oh my gosh. He spoke to us!" as he walked away.

It didn't end there; other monsters started approaching him, being overly nice to him. At this rate he couldn't attribute all the positivity to Mike's advice. His mind starts to wonder, but he tells himself that he's crazy, that Mike would never do such a thing.

"Shh, shh! Here he comes." Sulley overhears someone from across the room. As he turns he sees Mike and Fungus pretending they were talking about something else.

Sulley stood still for a moment, letting it sink in. The relief he'd felt after telling Mike about his problems was quickly replaced with hatred and disdain for him. Just as soon as he had found color in the world, it was quickly becoming the colorless, black and white world he'd known for so long. It was all fake. Their concern, their kindness.. all of it. He felt as if something inside of him had broken, but he didn't want to be seen in the lowest, or any regard. So, he put his mask back on. Tough, scary, and careless. But deep inside, he felt like he'd lost his only friend.

Mike was almost certain Sulley had found out by now, especially after seeing him with Fungus. It might've looked like he was telling others his secret, but he was actually telling them to keep it on the down low. Naturally, he expected Sulley to leave work early, but he stayed, avoiding him. He knew he'd have to face him sooner or later, but he wanted to postpone that as much as possible. So, after Sulley was done collecting for the day, Mike decided to stay and do his paperwork, but Sulley had other plans. Mike could only guess what he was up to as he saw him walk out through the front doors of Monsters Inc.

Sulley was more disappointed than angry. He thought Mike was different, but his actions showed otherwise. He abused his trust, making him just another one of _them_. Disappointments were all he ever knew, so he thought to himself that if this was all that life had to offer him, then he could live by himself, he didn't need anybody.

He got his suit case from the top shelf of the closet and started packing. He started asking himself some endless questions like: _What will I do? Where will I go? How long will he be away? Will I end up working for Fear Co? __Is it a crime to want a better life? Are my expectations too high? _He sighed and thought to himself, _I'm such a failure._ _I wish I could to go back to those carefree days.. if only life were that simple. Am I over reacting? How much did he tell them?_ He takes a deep breath and tries to calm down, but his breathing wouldn't let him. He hears the front door of his apartment open.

* * *

Mike comes home, surprised to find an empty living room and an empty kitchen. He wonders if Sulley ever made it home.

"Sulley?" he calls out as he walks into their room.

All the lights were off, making it hard for him to see, but he could see a big lump on Sulley's bed. As he walked further in he heard some light snoring. Relieved, he walked to his bed and slipped under the sheets, getting comfortable. It started to get colder as the night progressed and Mike found himself shivering from the cold. He gets up to lower the air conditioner, but it's broken. He shiveres, feeling goosebumps form on his skin. He has a small quarrel in his mind about his next move, but he's too tired and cold to mind any future repercussions. He walks over to Sulley's bed and sleeps with him. He wraps Sulley's right arm around his body and begins to feel warmth of his fur against his body as he slowly drifts to sleep.

* * *

"Sulley?" Mike asked as he saw Sulley's luggage packed. The room looked empty, all of his belongings were gone from their place.

"Don't do this, Sulley." Mike said as he saw him getting up. "What about all we had planned? There's still so much we can do."

Sulley stayed quiet, but his mind raced. _That's what he was worried about? That selfish prick._

"Sulley, there is no reason to be ashamed of it. I just told Jerry, someone must've overheard. But I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. I was worried about you, Sull."

He tried to search for dishonesty in his voice, but he couldn't detect any.

"It'll go away eventually, it always does."

_He did care. He actually did care. _Sulley tried to hold back his lingering emotions, but he let them out with a relaxed sigh,"Your intentions were pure, I guess that's all that matters."

Sulley's answer was so simple, heartfelt, and sincere. He had never felt like this before. Nothing ever compared to this. Nothing got close to this.

Sulley breathed in deeply, taking in Mike's apology. He felt like he was floating, and suddenly, he was in space, falling through the skies, falling through multitudes of other monsters who seemed to stand seamlessly in the atmosphere, staying in one spot as he fell through them. He didn't bump into anybody as he fell, the others simply danced into the night in slow motion. As he fell, he realized that he had it all. Everything he could dream of was his. He started to let go of everything; the past, his worries, and his expectations. His fall slowed down to a stop as he reached a different level of the planet's atmosphere. He heard Mike's voice calling his name, he turned around and there he was. Everything had lead up to this one moment in time.

"Thanks, Sulley."

"No, Mike. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be the monster I am today. All of these experiences, even the bad ones have made me appreciate life more. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be the monster I am today. And for that, I thank you."

* * *

Sulley wakes up to find Mike sleeping on his bed, cuddling his arm. Puzzled, he wonders what was real and what wasn't. He slowly gets up and leaves the room.

Mike gets up and meets him at the table for breakfast shortly afterwards. "I had a weird dream today." Mike said as he sat down.

If he was expecting a follow-up question, he didn't get one.

Sulley got the feeling that Mike had had the same dream and if that was the case, he knew how he felt about him. That conversation would be awkward, so he avoids it. And if they hadn't, he'd sound like a fool if he brought it up.

One thing was for sure though, even if it wasn't real, this vast, yet strange experience made Sulley become the monster we all know and love; a shy, introverted and emotional monster who tries his best to please others.

* * *

**Author's Note: It's been a tradition of mine to post a playlist inspired by the story at the end, but now that fanfiction won't let you copy and paste directly from the story, it will be on my profile instead. Once you're there you can also vote for which story you'd like me to work on. Also, this might be the ending of the story, I'm not sure. I had an idea on how to continue it, but I forgot.**

**I guess one of the reasons I decided to write a story about Sulley was because he seemed to treat people with a certain.. I don't even know what the word is, but he seems to understand people and he behaves accordingly. He seems to judge people based on their intentions, not necessarily their actions. He makes me want to better myself as a person.**


End file.
